“We have a friend who gets very aggressive when he drinks alcohol. He’s got into a couple of fights at parties and we’re very worried about him and what could happen next if this gets any worse. Is there anything we can do to prevent him getting so angry and aggressive?”
There are some people, like your friend, who become aggressive when they drink alcohol. There are many reasons why this can occur but essentially it’s due to alcohol impairing the brain’s ability to regulate behaviour. Inhibitions are reduced and drinkers are less able to stop themselves from acting on angry thoughts.
Not everyone who drinks alcohol becomes aggressive or violent. We do know that certain people are more prone to this type of behaviour, e.g., those with particular personality types with high levels of ‘trait anger’. When these people drink, they can become extremely angry, particularly when they feel threatened or frustrated. If they’re in a hot, noisy and crowded place, this only makes it worse. While some can express their anger in a controlled and constructive way, others lash out aggressively. This can lead to intimidating, bullying or violent behaviour – endangering themselves, other people and property. This type of behaviour is unpredictable, which means that those around them are often unprepared and sometimes get badly hurt.
If you’re going to make a difference, and there’s no guarantee that you will, you need to intervene early. As soon as you see signs that they’re beginning to get aggressive, and you’re sure it’s still safe for you to do so, do your best to try to calm the person down. It’s important to understand that you’re not trying to get them to see what they’re doing is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, rather you’re attempting to get them to regain control of their behaviour without ‘lashing out’. Some of the things that you can do include the following:
- move them to a quiet place, away from stimulation
- try to get them to sit down
- ask people who do not need to be there to leave
- speak to them using a soft, controlled voice and use their name when you can
- ask them why they’re feeling the way they are and acknowledge their feelings
- give them time to talk and let them know you’re there to help them
People affected by alcohol can be potentially dangerous, whether you know them or not. Remember, your first priority must always be your personal safety – never put yourself into a situation where you could get hurt. If in doubt, particularly if you think they could hurt themselves, you or someone else, call 000.
First published: April 2026
